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I'm going to speak from from the perspective of what I see in Scripture as right and good. I realize that we live in a fallen world and sin has corrupted. Things aren't always as they should be, and praise the Lord, He can redeem! But I still believe that we should look at the should as what should be. I also realize we live in a world where someone can be a victim of another person's sin. If you have been abused, you are not responsible for that. God does not hold you guilty, no matter what the Devil tells you, and God has special healing grace just for you.
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Does Purity Matter?
I value purity because God values purity. God created sexuality and placed it within marriage. The Bible is very clear that sex outside of marriage is sexual immorality and sin. It's wrong. Ex 20:14 - "You shall not commit adultery." Jesus took that farther by saying that lusting was the same as committing adultery (Matt 5:27-28 ) - WHOA! He went on to say that it'd be better to cut out your eye than to go to hell because of it (Matt 5:29-30) - WHOA! That's a pretty high value on purity. Jesus thought it was important.
God's relationship with Israel was pictured as marriage (Is 54:5, others). Idolatry was pictured as infidelity. We see this throughout the Old Testament. In Hosea we see God's example of His redemptive plan, but God states "the land has committed great harlotry by departing from the Lord" (Hos 1:2). Jeremiah talks about the many lovers that Israel has had. They had forsaken God through idolatry and become impure. God's desire was that they would keep themselves only for Him, that they would be pure.
Marriage is an image of Christ's relationship with the church (Eph 5:22-33) - a relationship that should be undefiled, holy, blameless, not polluted with the world. Christ is pure, and because we are in a relationship with a pure Christ, we seek to be pure, like Him (1 John 3:3; 1 Peter 1:13-15; 2 Pet 3:11, 14).
We see elsewhere in Scripture the sinfulness of sexual immorality and the value placed on purity. Acts 15:20; Rom 13:13. 1 Cor 6:12-20 – (actually go ahead and read all of chapters 5 and 6, and then go ahead and read the rest of the book :). this is an interesting concept that is also found elsewhere, that the body is not made for sexual immorality, but for the Lord; so if we participate in sexual immorality we are actually robbing God of what was made for Him; also the concept that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and so sexual immorality in the Christian is a defamation of God's temple. He also remembers that there were those in the Corinthian church that were fornicators before they knew Christ, and Christ had redeemed them from it.) 1 Cor 10:8 (it's in a list, not just by itself); 1 Cor 12:21 (also not alone); Gal 5:19-21 (contrasted with vv. 22-26); 1 Pet 4:1-6 (here he's talking about how they used to live.); Col 3:5; Heb 13:4; 1 Thess 4:3-8. There's a lot more. I've only scratched the surface. And I don't list the verses just to list them, I'd encourage you to read them, as I have done, and read the context of them, as I have done, even as I was gathering them to put in this post. They show us a lot about the heart of God (as does the whole Bible) :)
I believe in grace because God believes in grace. But I believe that grace is given because we fell short of what God wanted or required. Situations that require grace are not the ideal – that's why it's grace. Grace is a good thing. We wouldn't be here without it. In Rom 6, Paul asks, well if grace is so good, should we sin more so we can get more grace? Absolutely not! It breaks my heart to think of God's grace cheaply. You know how much God paid in order to extend grace? You know what it cost?
Grace is important. I need to extend grace just as I have been extended grace. I deserve nothing but God's wrath, and yet He showed grace. Therefore I can't prop myself up and look down at people. I'm nothing. But I dare not presume upon God's grace if I really love Him. I dare not say, "sin is a trifle because God forgives." Sin is tragic! Sin separates us from God! Sin breaks the heart of God!
God wants me to be pure. God wants you to be pure. God wants purity in His church. Purity is valuable.
Is there value in sexual purity? Yes! Does being sexually pure give us the right to be prideful and look down on those who are not? No! If someone has lost their sexual purity, does that mean they are less valuable? No! But I would say that it does mean they have lost the value that there is in being pure. They're not less of a person, and God still redeems, but there is something that is lost when purity is lost.
Physical and sexual purity is important and valuable because God has made it valuable. It is also an image of spiritual purity, which is crucially valuable.
Is there value in someone who has grown up and kept themselves for God and not rebelled or wandered off into a lot of gross sin? Yes! Does that mean they can be prideful and look down on those who have gone into gross sin? No! (Remember, we've all sinned, Rom 3:23.) If someone has been involved in deep sin, does that mean they are less valuable? No! However, I have often seen those who were saved at an early age feel inferior to those with great stories of sinfulness and wickedness out of which God redeemed them. But that's not the ideal. The ideal is that we would not become engrossed in deep sin, but accept Him early, and innocently, and purely. I'm often afraid the same thing can happen to those who keep themselves sexually pure, because the world says there's something wrong with you if you're pure. But God says, there's value in purity.
In summary, here's what I see as God's heart on the issue: He values purity. That's why I value purity. If I've lost it, it was sin, and that's tragic, and condemned me to hell. Christ died to give grace and redeem me from that. But every sin that I commit still has lasting effects on my life. Sin has real consequences. Once you lose your sexual purity, you can never get it back. Yes, God will forgive. Yes, God can miraculously heal the effects of sin, but He doesn't always do so. If I have baggage, God will give grace - that can be healed. Though most of the time the scars will never go completely away. Now, He doesn't stand over me and say you "you miserable little person you!" No, He weeps over my brokenness and is broken over my sin - we should have the same attitude. But even through it all, God still *wants* purity. That's His desire. And if you have kept yourself pure and continue to keep yourself pure, that is of huge value. If you find someone who has also kept themselves pure, that is of huge value. Never doubt the value of what God values.
